The day your baby went to live with his adoptive parents, you let go physically. But did you let go emotionally?

Despite what people may think, you don’t just close your heart and thoughts. You made a big decision, and while it might be easier in many ways if you could just move forward without thinking about it or feeling it, the truth is, an idea versus reality are often very different.

You’re allowed to grieve.

You’re allowed to have doubt. You’re allowed to be sad. You’re allowed to feel proud of your decision. You’re allowed to feel what you feel, whatever it may be.

Let go of what others think you should do and give yourself permission to go through a healing process that best suits your needs. There is no one-size-fits-all response that you should feel pressured to follow.

Let go of the need to appear fine to others. If you’re not fine, allow yourself to process not being fine. Seek out those who can walk this journey with you, not those who need you to be fine. (If you’re feeling depressed, please talk with your counselor right away.)

Let go of trying to get life back to “normal” before you’re ready. Maybe it’ll never feel like it did before, or maybe it will, but you don’t have to rush. Give yourself time to process. There may be things you have to do (going back to work, etc.) but you can still take the time to feel your emotions and start your healing journey.

Let go of any blame you’ve placed on yourself. Everything we do in life will not be perfect, but we can learn and make new decisions.

Let go of expectation — how you thought your life was going to go and where you are now. Give yourself grace. Today is a new day, a chance to begin again, to move forward. There is a saying that the reason the rearview mirror in a car is smaller than the windshield is so you can focus on what’s in front of you much better. So, focus forward.

Let go of advice (yes, even this advice) if it doesn’t suit you. Take what you can use and release the rest.

As you begin to let go, you can better focus on your life ahead. So much possibility waits for you. It’s yours to seize as you are ready.