The Story of Birthmothers Who Already Have Children
Guilt is the hardest emotion for most birthmothers to handle. When it’s your first child, the guilt primarily comes from the thought that I’m not ready for parenthood when I should be. But that’s not the case for women whose adoptee child is not their first child. And there are many out there who are afraid to speak up. But any woman, regardless of her background should be able to say, “I know adoption is the best choice for myself and my baby.”
As a woman with children, guilt may cause you to think, “How can I place this baby for adoption when I have kept my other children?” You spend sleepless nights wondering, “Do I love this baby any less? What will he think? Will the child wonder why I placed her and not her siblings?” The dread is caused by the belief that your child will resent you for your decision, but that’s not the case. You have legitimate reasons to place your child for adoption, as every woman is different and your situation causes you to have different needs than another mother.
There are a number of reasons why current mothers choose to not parent their next child. She may no longer be with the father. She has new understanding of the challenges that come with being a parent, and may not be able to handle a second child. She may be struggling financially, and is concerned how to bring a new baby into the family without taking resources needed for other children.
She also is reminded of the joy. And the benefits of raising her child with his or her siblings. But she should not have to feel guilty, or keep the child if her situation causes more stress than happiness. Open adoptions are very common. This helps the birthmother have a life long connection with her child, and opens the door for a future reunion with siblings. The decision is never easy, but a birthmother should always remember that the love for her child does not end with adoption.