So you’ve made the decision to place your baby for adoption. The next step is to work with an agency (like Birthmother’s Choice) to choose the adoptive parents. You want to be sure that you choose a family you are comfortable with to raise your child so it’s important when you meet with them to ask a lot of questions.
Here is a list of 9 questions to ask potential adoptive parents.
These questions will help you understand the parents and give you a better idea of how they will raise the baby. This helps to ensure you choose parents that are best suited to your goals.
What are your interests?
This helps you get to know the parents a little better, to gain an understanding of the things they like or dislike. Creating small talk can make you more comfortable with the parents. Small talk can help ease nerves and tension when first meeting and gives you a general overview of how the parents live.
Do you have any other children?
This question gives you an idea about how much responsibility the parents already have. Maybe you would be more comfortable knowing they already have two at home. You will relish in the fact that your baby will grow up with siblings and how that dynamic is different from a single child home. Perhaps you would enjoy giving the gift of someone’s first child, and no other siblings are important.
Have you adopted before or know someone who has?
Maybe they have been through this adoption process before and they have been raising an adopted child for years. Maybe they know a close friend who has adopted a child and that is what encouraged them to adopt their own. The adoptive parents may or may not be experienced in the way of adoption, and asking them about it will help you see how much knowledge and experience they have with the process.
What is your family like?
Every family is different. Some are big, others small. Some are loud, others quiet. Some families have an uncle that likes to joke, while other families have a crazy aunt. Discussing family with the parents will give you an understanding of the family dynamics and what it will be like for the baby to grow up in that family you’re considering.
What kind of neighborhood do you live in?
Is there a park nearby? Is there enough room for playing in a backyard? Are the neighbors friendly? These are all important topics to share with the parents, to be sure the baby grows up in a safe and fun environment.
What do you do for a living?
This is another great question to ask the parents to find out what their interests are. Talking about jobs is a good way of discovering what kind of environment your baby will grow up in. It also gives you an idea of the financial stability and the skill sets they believe are important to pass down to your baby.
What do you think makes you a good parent?
Find out what makes them stand out from other parents. See what values and morals they find to be important when raising a child. Get to know why they should be the ones to take your baby home.
What led you to decide to adopt?
This question may be a little more personal to ask, especially if they’ve decided to adopt due to infertility. However, it might be a good way to learn intentions behind why the parents are wanting to adopt.
What kind of relationship/adoption do you want?
While trying to decide who to choose to adopt your baby, it’s important to be sure that you’re on the same page. That includes agreeing on the type of adoption you hope to have with your baby. Whether it’s open, semi-closed, or closed, the type of adoption and level of communication should be agreed upon.
These questions are just starters; hopefully you’ll add some of your own.