Choosing adoption is one of the hardest decisions a woman could ever be asked to make. This decision requires selflessness, sacrifice, and great responsibilities. If you know a woman planning to her child for adoption, your support is essential. Many women fear the social repercussions of adoption. Birthmothers are often stigmatized for their decision without having the chance to tell their story. With your support and acceptance, she can provide for her child and feel loved through this difficult, emotional time in her life.
There are many reasons why expecting moms choose adoption for their children. It may seem like loving a child and wanting to raise them is enough. But, there are financial and emotional needs that play important roles in a woman’s decision. The only thing any mom wants is for her baby to be happy. Sometimes it takes a sacrifice of her own wants to make that possible. Adoption is not the easy way; it is a path of great difficulty for the mother. But, she knows that her child’s needs come before her own. There is more than one way to be an amazing, loving mom.
Remind her that adoption is a selfless act motivated by love.
Some people will give sympathy, but very few can truly empathize with the situation and emotions involved. Not only is she giving her child better opportunities and a loving environment to grow up in, she is giving a couple the chance to become parents when they could not. There is no greater gift than the blessing of parenthood for those who want to but cannot. She knows the adoptive parents will love her child as she would, and give them the financial or emotional support she could not.
Some people may tell her, “I could never “give up my baby.” This is something you should never say to an expecting mother. It hurts her, because to place a child for adoption is not giving up. It’s giving the child a chance at a future that she may not feel she can provide right now. Whether you agree or disagree is not of her concern. Your friend or family member is making a sacrifice, and she needs to make that choice free of anyone else’s opinion.
Help her throughout the pregnancy, making sure she is cared for, healthy, and happy.
This time with her baby is precious. The best thing you can do for her is to say, “I love you, I care about you, and I want you to do what’s best,” and mean it.
Your support of one birthmother makes it easier for other women to make the right choice for their children and for their own lives.
“I know (my birth mother) must have had a lot of love for me to want to give (me) what she felt was a better chance.” — Faith Hill