Pregnant in High School? Know When to Ask for Help

“Junior year in high school. I had been dating a guy for over a year, and we seemed to have a pretty solid relationship. When the third month without a period came, I knew I had to tell him. But I barely got the words out before I broke down crying – he knew. He understood that this was the scariest thing that either of us could’ve imagined. He took me to the drug store, and we bought a pregnancy test. I decided to take it alone, so that when the results came back, I could make the decision without fearing his reaction. It was horrible. But I survived.”

This story comes from the average high school student. She had good grades, a close-knit group of friends, and a boyfriend who stayed by her side when things were at their worst. She was no different than any other high school girl, but she faced what you’re facing now. She asked herself, “How am I going to survive if I have a child? How could this happen to someone like me?”

We know things are changing faster than ever before in your life. Yesterday you woke up, prepared for just another day at school. Today you’re preparing to tell the father, or your best friend what’s happened. Before you begin this journey, take some time just for you. Let the emotions ride – it will take about a week for the panic to settle and for your mind to clear. Then you can take steps to coping in a healthy manner.

As a mother-to-be, your high school experience will change drastically. No longer will you have same social life as friends, and that’s ok. This is the time in your life where you’re supposed to grow and change. As your friends make their own memories, you will have yours. And they will be more positive that you could ever imagine now. You will become more responsible, more mature than your peers. While others take for granted the extra time for development, you’ll be pushing yourself to work harder for an education and future.

You’re not alone. Nearly 750,000 teens will have a pregnancy before the age of 20. And each of those women felt as vulnerable as you do at this moment. But you are stronger than you think. The hardest part will be asking for help when you truly need it. But take a moment to look into the future, and realize that while you can do it alone, you shouldn’t have to.

“I’m so glad I asked help. I went to my boyfriend first, and while he wasn’t ready to talk, he assured me that he wouldn’t leave me at this critical point in my life. Then I went to my mother. That was even harder, because I thought she would disapprove, or force me to keep the baby even if I didn’t want to. But she didn’t. We talked, and now I’ll never be afraid to ask for support when things go really bad.”

Find a friend, family member, or mentor who can stay neutral during your emotional states. They should preferably be “outside the drama,” and there simply to help you cope and manage any stress you have. If asking a friend or relative is too personal, you can always call one of the members at Birthmother’s Choice. We work with women everyday going through the same situation. We understand, and want to help you in the next phase of this new life.